Distribution

• Mark Wahlberg — John
• Seth MacFarlane
• Amanda Seyfried — Samantha Jackson
• Giovanni Ribisi — Donny
• Tiffany — Tiffany
• Jessica Barth — Tami-Lynn
• Morgan Freeman — Patrick Meighan
• Patrick Warburton — Guy
• John Slattery — Shep Wild
• Cocoa Brown — Joy
• John Carroll Lynch — Tom Jessup
• Ron Canada — Judge
• Liam Neeson — Customer
• Tom Brady — Himself
• Kate McKinnon — Kate McKinnon
• Taran Killam — Taran Killam
• Sebastian Arcelus — Dr. Ed Danzer
• Steve Callaghan — Comic
• Maggie Geha — Female Nurse
• Jessica Szohr — Allison
• Craig Ricci Shaynak — Blind Guy
• Lexi Atkins — Waitress
• Dustin Ybarra — Borg
• Julius Sharpe — NYC Doctor
• Curtis Stigers — Wedding Singer
• Liz Morgan — NYC Nurse
• Alec Sulkin — Obi-Wan
• Tara Strong — Ted Toy (voice)
• Ralph Garman — Stormtrooper
• Vanessa Vander Pluym — Juror
• J. Mark Donaldson — Juror
• Becki Dennis — Receptionist
• David Goldman — Pundit
• Ronobir Lahiri — Pundit
• Nefetari Spencer — Pundit
• Jeffrey Stubblefield — Pundit
• Wellesley Wild — Pundit
• Chris Neville — Cop (Boston PD)
• Josiah Blount — Comic Con Fan
• John Viener — Police Dispatcher
• Billy Concha — Bachelor Party Guest
• Chris Regan — Pundit
• Luke Adams — Wedding Announcer
• Michael Dorn — Rick
• Bill Smitrovich — Frank
• Dennis Haysbert — Fertility Doctor
• Patrick Stewart — Narrator (voice)
• Jay Leno — Jay Leno
• Jimmy Kimmel — Jimmy Kimmel
• Bobby Moynihan — Bobby Moynihan
• Jay Patterson — Karl Jackson
• Nana Visitor — Adoption Agent
• Jack Knight — Todd Kidder
• Lenny Clarke — Cop (Boston PD)
• Rachael MacFarlane — Meighan Assistant
• Ted Jessup — Pundit
• Sam J. Jones — Sam Jones